Through the dark times of struggling and praying, God surrounded us with His love and began to change our viewpoint. He used the encouragement of friends and family to remind us that though we sometimes face difficulty, God is sovereign over every circumstance. It was only by His providence that we faced a possibility of infertility. At this realization, we had to yield it all to Him: our struggles, our fears, our sadness, our questioning, everything.
We felt certain that God was leading us in the direction of adoption, but which path were we to take? (International, domestic, private, through an agency) We had a lot of questions. So, we began to read. Google became our best friend. We began to search for reputable agencies, we bought books about adoption, we listened to sermons about adoption, we talked to adoptive parents; we completely saturated ourselves in adoption information. In this time of research, we requested information from several agencies. One of the information packets included a DVD of testimonials from adoptive parents. A statement one of the adoptive mothers made really stood out to me. She was talking about infertility and how we often categorize couples into those who can have children and those who can’t; her exact words were “We can ALL have children.” That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. God used her words to completely change my outlook on our situation. The negative thoughts slowly dissipated, and I began to see the beauty of what God would do in our lives through adoption.
God began to show us the parallel between our adoption of a child and how He has adopted us into His family. The statement I made in a previous blog, “I couldn’t bear the thought of not having ‘my own’ children,” was no longer a thought in my mind. I began to consider the love God the Father has for me. He loves me AS HIS OWN… I am His. “Ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;” Romans 8:15b-17a. I am as much God’s child as Christ is. What an astounding thought. As I reveled in this thought, I realized that no matter how God chooses to give me children, they are all my own. As a dear friend of mine prayed, He has already set them aside for me. They are mine, even this very hour. I just have to go get them. :)