January 14th: I-800 approved
January 24th: received our visas and our girls were transferred from their region to Bogotá
January 25th: saw our girls for the first time, via Skype
February 6th: TRAVEL
As we continue to see God's grace unfolding before our eyes, it causes me to reflect back on the last 5 months (and even years) and everything God has done to bring us to this very moment in our lives. Standing, as it were, on the hill top looking back over the journey that brought us here (the valleys, the pits, the rocky climbs) I stand in pure and utter amazement at the work God has done.
It is no secret that when we began our adoption 16 months ago, we had an infant in mind. God quickly began to change that as He reminded us of the worldwide need for all ages. We settled in to our commitment of siblings: up to 3, but under 8 years old. What I realize now, that I didn't then, is that I was still holding on to age. I had never really let go of it, I only thought I had. As it seems, God would not let me rest until I had surrendered all to Him - ALL, not some. It wasn't until these 2 girls came across our path that I came face to face with this reality in my heart.
It is true that we felt compelled to help these girls. We wanted to be the ones to provide a loving home for children who had been cast aside. But to be totally honest with you, even in the midst of compelling feelings, I was terrified to let go of "my picture" (ya know the one with little ones toddling around). I wanted to be the one to say "YES, God, I WILL GO" no matter what the question was. But, there was a weakness in my heart that wouldn't afford me that courage. So began the wrestling match between the two sides of my heart; the one side who desired greatly to be bold for the Lord and to follow Him anywhere, and the other side who drowned in doubt and thought of every excuse. I remember literally walking and talking with the Lord concerning this decision. I walked and prayed, walked and prayed, walked and prayed, until I found peace. God used the story of Abraham to speak peace to my heart. When God called Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, He was calling him to sacrifice what was most precious to him. It was only when he was willing to give up what was precious to him that God gave it back to him. Sometimes we have to give up our precious thing in order to be obedient to God. My precious thing was the longing to watch a child grow from infancy - to experience the joy of first steps and first words. But giving up my precious thing was the requirement for obedience. If I could paint a picture of my personal journey throughout this adoption it would be the Lord stretching out His hand to me, and in my hesitation to take His hand, The Lord saying to me Don't fear, I won't leave your side, take My hand, trust Me. I have great hope that, like Abraham, God will return what is precious to me in time.
In the meantime, God has given us a new kind of precious in the form of 2 beautiful girls, ages 10 and 12. It is beautiful to consider that at the time God was bringing Blaine and I together, one day to be husband and wife, He birthed our daughters into the world 2,000 miles away. Only God could write a story that beautiful! We are looking forward to turning the page and entering the new chapter of our lives as parents. After 7 years of waiting, it all comes down to 2 more days. In 2 more days the parent chapter will finally become a reality.
January 24th: received our visas and our girls were transferred from their region to Bogotá
January 25th: saw our girls for the first time, via Skype
February 6th: TRAVEL
As we continue to see God's grace unfolding before our eyes, it causes me to reflect back on the last 5 months (and even years) and everything God has done to bring us to this very moment in our lives. Standing, as it were, on the hill top looking back over the journey that brought us here (the valleys, the pits, the rocky climbs) I stand in pure and utter amazement at the work God has done.
It is no secret that when we began our adoption 16 months ago, we had an infant in mind. God quickly began to change that as He reminded us of the worldwide need for all ages. We settled in to our commitment of siblings: up to 3, but under 8 years old. What I realize now, that I didn't then, is that I was still holding on to age. I had never really let go of it, I only thought I had. As it seems, God would not let me rest until I had surrendered all to Him - ALL, not some. It wasn't until these 2 girls came across our path that I came face to face with this reality in my heart.
It is true that we felt compelled to help these girls. We wanted to be the ones to provide a loving home for children who had been cast aside. But to be totally honest with you, even in the midst of compelling feelings, I was terrified to let go of "my picture" (ya know the one with little ones toddling around). I wanted to be the one to say "YES, God, I WILL GO" no matter what the question was. But, there was a weakness in my heart that wouldn't afford me that courage. So began the wrestling match between the two sides of my heart; the one side who desired greatly to be bold for the Lord and to follow Him anywhere, and the other side who drowned in doubt and thought of every excuse. I remember literally walking and talking with the Lord concerning this decision. I walked and prayed, walked and prayed, walked and prayed, until I found peace. God used the story of Abraham to speak peace to my heart. When God called Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, He was calling him to sacrifice what was most precious to him. It was only when he was willing to give up what was precious to him that God gave it back to him. Sometimes we have to give up our precious thing in order to be obedient to God. My precious thing was the longing to watch a child grow from infancy - to experience the joy of first steps and first words. But giving up my precious thing was the requirement for obedience. If I could paint a picture of my personal journey throughout this adoption it would be the Lord stretching out His hand to me, and in my hesitation to take His hand, The Lord saying to me Don't fear, I won't leave your side, take My hand, trust Me. I have great hope that, like Abraham, God will return what is precious to me in time.
In the meantime, God has given us a new kind of precious in the form of 2 beautiful girls, ages 10 and 12. It is beautiful to consider that at the time God was bringing Blaine and I together, one day to be husband and wife, He birthed our daughters into the world 2,000 miles away. Only God could write a story that beautiful! We are looking forward to turning the page and entering the new chapter of our lives as parents. After 7 years of waiting, it all comes down to 2 more days. In 2 more days the parent chapter will finally become a reality.
What an exciting journey! While it is true that with younger children you do get to see lots of those "firsts" there are lots of neat "firsts" with older kids too. First holidays with them, going to restaurants, sporting events, etc. And the other neat thing is that they will be old enough to remember those firsts and relive them with you! Our boys love to talk about their "firsts". Take lots of pictures and savor the journey.
ReplyDeleteKaren
Praying for you during this exciting journey. We just had our homestudy tonight! God has great plans!! I can't wait to see what God has for you!Those girls will be blessings!
ReplyDeleteHope you all are doing well, just watched the main video on your blog and wondered where you got the photo's. One of them is from a mission project my wife and I founded in Colombia called "God's table"....just thought was cool someone else we don't know came across the pictures.
ReplyDeleteBlessings on your journey!